Sunday, 8 July 2012

Another amazing CERN discovery announced

NewsBiscuit reports:
Jubilant scientists in CERN have confirmed the first known sighting of the infinitesimally small ‘collective conscience of the bankers’, after a hunt lasting many years. ‘We knew one banker, somewhere, must have had a pang of guilt at least once,’ declared an exhausted and delighted spokesman. ‘All it took to find it was several billion dollars, hundreds of scientists, and a massive bribe to someone in the city for inside information.’

The kind thought is believed to be an echo of the 1987 Big Bang, when a stockbroker driving away from a wine bar fleetingly asked himself ‘should I stop to check whether the whore under the wheels of my Porsche is ok?’ before concluding ‘nah, bugger it – the NHS is what my taxes are for. And I pay too many of them’.
Read more at NewsBiscuit.

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